Mon 21 Apr 2008
12 Ways to Improve Relationships
You probably know by now my views on books and websites written on Feng Shui, some are very good but many are bad or inaccurate. There is so much misinformation out there and this can cause problems for many people who are trying to get results whether for relationships, wealth, career, business or health. I have detailed below the facts of how to get real results with Feng Shui in the bedroom, they will probably go against everything you have read or been taught but here goes. All the below applies to houses or apartments.
1: Fresh cut and dried flowers, actually this applies to any part of the home or office. This has always been a big no with nearly every book I have seen or been told about. Fresh cut flowers are beautiful and I love having them in my home (make sure water is kept clean and fresh), they are a fairly neutral energy and do no harm, the benefits are amazing though, they can brighten any room and fill it with a scent that can transform any room for the better. I have been to many homes that have flowers but are housed in a filthy vase and green murky water; you must keep it squeaky clean. In 2008 the northeast is very good for fresh flowers but avoid them in the west of your home.
They are also a good test on how good the energy is in your room, around three weeks ago it was Mothers day in the UK and the boys delivered a glorious bouquet of flowers to Josephine, they actually look almost as good today as they did three weeks ago, this is because the energy in this room (dining room) is very good, don’t get me wrong I am not pretending that our whole house is perfect, far from it, every house will have good and bad areas, the secret is to find out where these good and bad areas are and use the better ones and avoid the bad ones and one of the main reasons why we developed our Feng Shui software so people could instantly find all their good and bad areas and how to enhance and cure.
Back to flowers, well actually dried flowers, this one always makes me laugh, with the exception of a few books every one will tell you DO NOT have dried flowers in your home or office, no exceptions, no dried flowers, pot pourri or anything that was once a living entity in a garden or forest etc. Not in my opinion, think about what about what I have just said.
‘Nothing that was living’, so what about all your wooden furniture, doors, floorboards, kitchen cupboards, window frames, doorframes, wooden ornaments etc. etc. etc. I think you know what I am going to say next, how can dried flowers or fresh cut flowers be so bad when any item that is made of wood is exactly the same element, a wooden table is dead wood the same as dried flowers, the wooden floorboards are identical to a dried flower arrangement in a redundant fireplace, long and short is dried flowers and fresh cut flowers are perfectly okay to have in a room as long as you are not allergic to them.
If you do use them make sure they are kept clean and dust free, I always take dried flowers or similar outside and give them a good shake every now and again and leave them out in sunlight when possible, this clears any negative energy and empowers it with fresh clean energy. If they are left for years without cleaning they will contain a lot of sha chi which is very bad.
Please remember that this is only my view, there is nothing in the ancient Feng Shui books to say dried flowers are bad or good so a debate either way for or against them would never be settled. Not forgetting silk or cloth flowers, these are excellent to have in any part of the home and no different to having a set of curtains.
2: Bed placements, if you check this link http://fengshuiweb.co.uk/advice/8mansions.htm you will find information on which directions to sleep in depending on which aspect of your life you want to enhance, i.e. Sheng Chi for prosperity, Tien Yi for health, Nien Yien for relationship and Fu Wei for overall harmony. The most important thing to remember when sleeping is the crown (top) of your head must face the direction; many people get confused and point their feet in this direction, which would have their head facing their worst direction.
Many of you will know your good and bad directions or have our Feng Shui software we sell that instantly calculates amongst many other things your good and bad directions. Another important consideration with bedroom arrangement is make sure you have your head supported by a solid wall directly behind you, if your best direction is south, do not have your bed at an angle in the room with your head behind a corner of wall or cupboard, this may seem like basic stuff but believe me we have visited many homes with the bed at all angles, it is great if you sleep in your best direction, however this is not always possible and do not worry about it if you cannot, an example is good friends of ours are opposite Trigram groups, one sleeps in his best direction and she sleeps in her worst, unless they top and tail or sleep in different beds they will never achieve a good balance according to many books and websites although they have been married for 17 years and have a fantastic relationship, great health and pretty wealthy so on its own it will not cause too many problems. Actually the most important thing is make sure you follow the annual flying stars this is far more important than directions you sleep.
I have thousands of clients from all over the world and many fret about such small things because they have read some book or the hundreds of new websites appearing making themselves look like a Microsoft empire and carrying great authority with their writing and the majority are trying to sell you a cure. Sleeping with your head in a bad direction on its own will not harm you, but if your bedroom was dirty, your diet was bad, you drank five bottles of wine a night, put them altogether and it is a recipe for disaster. Try and think about what I am saying, smoking one cigarette a day will probably not kill you but anymore than five a day will affect your life expectancy (in my opinion) try and get balance in your life. I do not lead the perfect life, I do meditate, but not enough, I do have a good diet but because of my travels I do eat some junk food, I do love a nice glass of wine, I do exercise (chi gong) but now I have just hit fifty years old I know I need to exercise more, overall though I am in very good shape without being too fanatical about Feng Shui, health, wealth and every other aspect of my life.
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3: En-suite bathrooms, a real taboo in most books, we have been to homes that have the most magnificent en-suite bathrooms and the occupants do not even use it because of what they have read or been told, remember two thousand years ago homes did not have bathrooms or toilets inside the home, so why now is it bad Feng Shui? The only thing you have to remember is all bathrooms should have the door and toilet seat lid closed at all times and it is kept squeaky clean, other than that do not worry if your head is facing the bathroom or en-suite wall, your luck will not be affected at all. There is no way in a million years you could ever get me to stop using my en-suite although it is probably the cleanest en-suite in the world though.
4: Try not to sleep with a beam or overhead cupboards over your head, if you have these you can place a piece of cloth under the beam so it takes away the negative effect or hang a crystal faceted sphere or a pair of bamboo flutes, I prefer the cloth as it is more effective and you can make it look nice with a piece of muslin cloth or similar. Generally though do not worry about beams in a bedroom unless they are directly over the bed area you sleep on.
5: Mirrors, now this is another misunderstood topic as again many homes we visit have all the mirrors covered or removed in the bedroom. It is only a problem if the mirror faces your bed and you can see your face and upper body in the reflection. If the mirror looks sideways onto your bed it is not so much of a problem but better not to have a mirror at all looking onto your bed, why are mirrors in bedrooms considered bad?
Two schools of thought, the first belief is when you sleep at night your soul is supposed to leave your body and when it leaves the first thing it sees is a reflection of itself and gets startled and this is what causes nightmares and a restless sleep. The second is when you sleep your body recharges itself with fresh qi and the negative qi leaves your body, if there is a mirror facing you the negative qi cannot leave you. This does not just apply to mirrors, anything reflective like a photo, painting, computer screen, TV or metal surface. If you cannot move the mirror place a cloth over it when you sleep.
6: Do not sleep with your feet facing towards a door, this is known as the ‘coffin position’ and speaks for itself. If you cannot change the bed position try and place an object like a screen or a small cupboard between the soles of your feet and the door.
7: Do not sleep with doors (entrance doors not wardrobe doors) on either side of a bed; this is pretty rare, as we do not see many homes with more than one entrance door in a bedroom.
8: Should you have moving water in a bedroom? A hard question to answer because if a bedroom using the flying star method and it is conducive to water then you can use it but generally I would say no unless you had a professional consultation and advised otherwise. In all my years though I have never recommended anyone to have moving (yang) water in a bedroom. Do not worry about taking a glass of water to bed with you though, this is Yin water and has no effect over the short time it is there, this also goes for a salt water cure; these are fine to have in a bedroom.
9: Which colours should you use in a bedroom? Again I am going to go against all the books and give you the facts, a bedroom is generally used for sleeping and because of this it is considered Yin (quiet) energy, most books will tell you to paint bright red (yang) or bright pinks to activate your relationships, again if you have had a consultation red may be a good colour to use as the Feng Shui consultant will know all your elements in that particular area but generally you use yin colours such as pastel shades and nothing too bright or loud, the same applies to bed covers and furniture, keep the colours simple and neutral.
10: Clearing your clutter is very important in the bedroom, wardrobes, under beds and behind doors get very stale (sha chi) and need to be cleared often to ensure good energy. Many books will tell you not to have a bed with draws under, this is not always practical with property space so valuable, and as long as you keep soft items like bedclothes, clothes or towels they are okay. Do not keep anything negative in the bedroom at all; if you have papers regarding a divorce or other legal problem either think about throwing them out (take legal advice) or storing in the loft, garage or less important room, this also applies to ornaments, paintings, photos or any gift that has been given to you by someone who you have negative feelings for.
11: Cures and enhancers to use in your bedroom. I have seen websites that will sell you a pebble to place under your pillow, red heart shaped pillows to a list of mantras to recite each night, all of which will enhance your romance. Here is a list of effective cures and enhancers and not gimmicky Micky Mouse ones…
If you are looking to conceive, sleep with your head pointing towards your Nien Yien direction. If you do not know your Nien Yien direction look on our website or you can buy the software that calculates it for you http://fengshuiweb.co.uk/pages/software.htm you should also face your oven door towards Nien Yien. For the Xuan Kong experts there is more information in our professional series below.
Always use pairs in a bedroom, if you want to attract a new partner have two pillows side by side, a pair of Mandarin ducks, if you have a painting on the wall make sure it has two people in the picture, candle sticks should always be in pairs, the only time you should use a single item in the bedroom is if you use a Dragon headed Tortoise but make sure you have a piece of red ribbon in its mouth.
Where should you place your cures? Depending on which school you follow. As you know we only ever use traditional Feng Shui and follow Xuan Kong flying star, which gives powerful results. The standard and most talked about way is to place items like mandarin ducks or a Dragon headed Tortoise in the south-west of the bedroom or home, so if you wanted to attract new love activate the SW with romantic items like this. It is not something that I would do as the below formula is much more powerful and gets results.
If you want to use a more powerful cure or enhancer use the flying star method, this year you would place a small water plant or a picture of still water along with something coloured blue in the northeast of the home, this can also be the northeast of your bedroom or the northeast of your entire home or both. This would activate the #4 wood star.
You would also place another pair of ducks and Dragon headed Tortoise in the northeast of your bedroom.
To recap and clear any misunderstandings, you would stand in the middle of your home facing the front of the house with a compass in hand and find the northeast, you would then go into your bedroom stand in the centre again facing the same direction (front) and find northeast of the bedroom and then place the cures.
You can also apply this rule to any flying star in the home or room, so if you wanted to activate the #8 wealth star for 2008 which is located in the east, you would place a three legged Toad, crystal sphere or a fire object or colour or anything to do with finances in the east of your home and east of your office or area that you work from. For full details of where the stars are this year visit this link http://www.fengshuiweb.co.uk/advice/flyingstars2008.htm.
12: A powerful cure and enhancer in 2008 and a good cure for arguments and also enhance the energy of a bedroom is to place a ceramic (not metal) essential oil burner in the west of your bedroom and add some essential oils to give a powerful aroma. Be careful what essential oils you use as they create a mood as well as energy. Ylang Ylang to create a romantic mood, Clary sage to promote good sleep etc, do your own research and the affect it can have on your environment.
© Michael Hanna, Feng Shui Store 2008